On 6 Years of Sobriety

I wish I’d quit alcohol earlier. And I am sharply grateful I didn’t stop later than I did.

There are people who believe alcohol does more for them than others.

There are those who believe alcohol sharpens and clarifies their thinking.

There are those who believe it close to alchemical magic.

I was one.

I drank (and loved it) for about twenty years. Half my life. In September 2019, I decided to give a Sober October a serious go. I had tried to pause my drinking for weeks at a time before and always failed.

For no reason I can name—maybe it was because I was a new father, or maybe not—, I was able to stick it out those thirty days.

November 1st, 2019, was then arguably the most important day of my life. That was the day, I decided to keep it going. And then again the next day. And the day after. And here we are, six years later.

During those first couple of months, I used to say, “I’m not committing to never drinking again. I’m just abstaining for now.”

Why the hedge? Because once a goal is named, especially a goal as consequential as that, it can be failed.

Now, I’ll say it. I will never drink again.

The benefits (in my case anyway) were non-existent at first. Headaches, anxiety, boredom, a constrained social life. Then, after a few weeks, I noticed I was sleeping better. My skin cleared a touch. Did I look thinner?

One year in, everything in my life was demonstrably better. Artistic output, thinking, sleep, diet, exercise, recovery, sex, work, my emotional universe, and pretty much everything outside of it as well seemed to just function a touch better.

And then better yet.

The more distance I put between myself and my drinking career, the more clearly I see how alcohol served and disrupted my life.

I relied on it in the usual ways: for pleasure, for sociability, for its own self-serving ritual.

That’s what it gave me.

What did it take?

It disfigured my view of the world and limited the reach of my vision.

Alcohol drew a curtain down between me and the rest of life. The curtain hung not more than six inches in front of my face and the curtain convinced me, slowly and insidiously, that the whole of my life was contained within that dark and narrow gap.

That’s where the party, the noise, and the churning carnival of challenges raged. I could not see beyond it. I did not know, and would not have believed, that there was even a curtain encircling me at all.

Sobriety—over time, not at first—threw that dread curtain open and I was reintroduced to the full bright range of life from which alcohol had barred me.

In the last six years, I’ve run two marathons, many half-marathons and other running events, written two books, taken on a new job I truly enjoy (and won two awards for it), rounded out our family with two more kids, bought a house, moved to the suburbs and more.

It’s been busy. I won’t say that I couldn’t have done any of this while drinking but it’s certain that all of it would not have happened had I been carrying on with my usual alcohol diet.

Other benefits of sobriety include but are not limited to:

• Better sleep.

• All food tastes exponentially better.

• Better skin (”Better” is relative, okay?).

• Greater and more consistent energy.

• Improved mental, emotional, spiritual clarity.

• Waking up at Zero, fired up and ready to go; not starting below Zero and recovering my way up to baseline.

• Greek god-level presence of mind at all times (I don’t mind bragging about that one).

It’s truly been a character-development accelerator. I think of it like grabbing 10,000 XP out of nowhere.

It’s no downside but I’ll say it HAS increased my taste, desire and appreciation for sugar. But, whatever, I can rationalize dessert as a medical necessity.

I don’t know anything about sobriety other than my own experience, but I’d say if you’re considering giving Sober October a try, do. It’s changed my life. Just give the benefits time to mount.

And get an Andy’s Frozen Custard loyalty card if they operate in your area. (By the way, Andy, I AM open to brand partnerships and/or just gifts. DM me.)

Stay frosty.